Saturday, October 27, 2007

Pre-departure

It is drawing nearer to the day I leave for Greece. The only thing on my mind at the moment is getting homesick. I'm worried. This is going to be a huge step for me. I'm going on a plane to Greece all by myself, and the mere thought of being alone, separated from my parents by such a vast distance; I don't know if I'll be able to cope. I'm so used to living with my parents, and to do something as big as this, flying 15,000 km away to the other side of the world is just extreme, especially for someone who is only 17 and has just graduated from High School. I can tell I’m really going to get homesick. I can feel it already. I'm all anxious and worried about the situation. Being separated from those who love you, and have lived with you all your life can be very scary. But what I'm more scared of, is being too scared, and wanting to give up and come back home. I definitely do not want that to happen. I need to adapt to a completely new environment and further expand my boundaries.

I had dedication. My reasons partially fall in the name of love. Yes, love. That's the underlying cause of my determination. First of all, I need cope with living outside my normal living standards, so that I can find this love. There's also a lot of fun that I wouldn't want to miss out on, which is travelling solo around Europe. If I can step forward firstly by going to Greece, I'll be able to do this as well. Travelling is my passion, my main ambition in life, and I don’t intend to let anything stop me. It's very important to me, and I hope that one day I will have covered the entire globe. My main goal in life is to be able to say that I've travelled all around the world when I'm on my deathbed.

Another important motivator I should mention is my friends from Tomb Raider Forums; a place where I met new people, extended my friendship and sociability, and where I got my primary insight of going to Greece. There are friends here from Greece who I want to meet. My intent is to stay in Greece for at least six months, perhaps to even a year or longer depending on how things go. Within this year, I want to explore a handful of European countries, particularly the Eastern block. I want to get around as an independant individual and have a great year of my life, doing what I love doing, finding out who I am and seeing myself fitting into the world. To visit all countries North of Greece up to the Baltic states, that must be quite a goal a teenager would strive for.

Along with mixed feelings of nostalgia, nervousness, anxiety and worry, the big obstacle in the way of one particular task, is my parents. I want to travel to Latvia to see my girlfriend, Agnes, who I met over the internet. My parents have a big problem with letting me go there on my own, in a country I don't speak the language of, or have any relatives in. I'm hoping I will be able to go. My parents are rather paranoid people that think of the worst, but I know that they do want what's best for me. I have to do this to see how it would work out. My parents have to let me go sooner or later, because I'm no longer their “baby child”, although that's how they might always see me. People grow up, and separate from their parents; It's a part of growing up, just like going through puberty is. We are born, we grow and we grow apart and start off on our own.

With that issue in the way, I have to pass the first step. Getting on that plane alone. I do have somewhat paranoid feelings of getting lost inside the airport at Thailand, the country I'm transiting. This is the very first time I'm going abroad alone. But I'm growing into a man, and I know I have to face these challenges. I believe I can be responsible, independent and adult enough to do these things on my own, being nearly 18 years of age. I am not someone who gives up very easily. I am determined to do this not only as a responsible, independent man, but also as a man who has many goals, ambitions, hopes and dreams. Not only am I willing to do this as a part of growing up; I am also willing and determined to do this as a personal passion and being myself.